This post is dedicated to the few people who have expressed their doubts on the name of the blog and the contents. So i will be serious here with this post--no slapstick comedy, if you want comedy this aint your blog today. A sum total of 6 readers of my blog (yes 6 is a huge number for me as my blog is not a crowd puller. Paris Hilton is a crowd puller, her pet monkey is a crowd puller, her designer monkey clothing brand is a crowd puller, but not me.) have expressed concerns; Their concerns are listed below: JuiceMeUp? Yecch it sounds so kinky (Two readers of feminine gender have expressed this concern) JuiceMeUp? it sounds so weird (Three concerns from the feminine crowd) To answer the above; JuiceMeUp refers to "get me drunk", "get me the booze" etc. Now the next concern (actually it's more of a threatening question made by my ex-colleague). I'll list the conversation below: Ex-Colleague: Where did you plagiarize this stuff? Me: What!!!! Ex-Colleague: From where did you copy all these articles? Me: What!!!! Ex - Colleague: I can't believe that you can write? I didn't think that you possessed good grammar. Me: What!!!! Ex-Colleague: Ok I gotta get back to work, speak to you some other time. I'm not as jobless are you are! Me: What!!!! Now that i've recovered from the after-shocks of the conversation, i'll script my justification with (by plagiarising) the most recent justification by and author and her publishing company Me: "it's very natural for someone to get impressed with the works of someone, and it's all the more natural (Natural also synonyms with the word "Easy" here) to just copy that work and make some cosmetic changes and voila! a masterpeice original work. So pls excuse any plagiarised articles published over here, any such plagiarism is purely inspirational and unintended" :) My Publishing company: "JuiceMeUp is a kid, and kids at that age tend to do things like this, what's the big deal, heck we'll just give a discount of 20% on the cover price, now that you know that it's not original. Note to Shareholders of our company: Shareholders don't worry about company profits dipping by this act, we're making good the losses by extorting JuiceMeUp." Note to readers: Pls ignore the 752 grammatical mistakes found in this post. Note to Paris Hilton: Pls ditch that stupid monkey and hire this monkey as your pet. JuiceMeUp.

Today is a historic day, Opal Mehta has moved the court to ban a newly published book in his name and has also asked punitive damages in the amount of Harvard Education's tuition costs. Being the citizen reporter (which i am not) i paid a crispy 10 buck note as a bribe to the judge to get insider information (This, my friends, is what i call "I paid my debt to the society"). The complaint talks about these issues: Opal Mehta is not fictitious character, but a real person and no one can plagiarize his name. He's never been kissed! Never set foot in the wild, but always wanted to, now too scared that Dick Cheney might mistake him for a duck. He already has a life, doesnt want to get another one cause credit card expenses will shoot up. Where's my Royalty dues? Hmmmm. Now let me finish scripting the last few pages my highly plagiarised book titled "How K****a Got Admitted (Harvard), Got Fame and Got Screwed" This book is my short cut to HBS and not my GMAT score or Essays. Wish me luck. Disclaimer: All remarks, names, commas, periods, apostrophes, alphabets above mentioned are fictitious and does not resemble any person living or dead, if any resemblance found it's purely unintended and coincidental.

There are two kinds of people residing at my apartment. First Kind: Fat people Second Kind: Me I seriously wonder as to how these people put on weight, and successful they are at putting loads of layers of fat everyday! Health surveys points out that "you tend to put on weight if you're under undue stress". Heck, i am always stressed out, if i am not my manager takes it as a personal challenge to stress me out, coming to my earlier point if the health survey is right why am i not putting on weight? Or did those survey experts got drunk midway during the survey and instead of SEX they input STRESS? Hmmmm. The other day i was chilling out in the public swimming pool at the apartment reading a novel, this fat kid jumps into the water and the next thing i notice is this killer wave coming at me. Okay time for some drink to beat the heat, Regular coke for me and diet coke for this fat kid. JuiceMeUp.

Rediff Matchmaker! Ahem (clears throat), lot of you people must have either visited/hooked with a girl or got spammed from this website. I belong to the spam category, everyday I see mails with these subject lines:

Anu, 22, wants to meet you!
Get hooked with Latha
Marriage proposal for you!
Will you marry me? etc.

Since I don’t respond to these mails nor visit the website, the webmaster is getting too desperate to attract my “eyeball” to this website. Now he is spamming my emailbox with these subject-liners.

Will you get married this year?
Hey this is slim and sexy Rani, call me today!
Will you ever get Married? (Hmm... will I ever get married? Jennifer Aniston is single but she ain’t ready to mingle with me as yet)

Give the webmaster a few more days, he’d spam with these subject-liners:

Anu, 36-24-36 wants to meet you!
Hookers for Sale (Dirt cheap)!
One night stand available!

If I still don’t respond to him, he’d go on with this subject-liner

Tania 44EE, what else do you need moron!

RediffMatchmaker thou shall not spammeth my Inbox.

JuiceMeUp.

Of congested bus rides, peanuts and farts

This was the condition of my travel back to bangalore from my hometown. A two hour "concentration camp" kind of experience which i undergo two times a month. The aptly titled "Air Bus" (Not to be mistaken with an Airbus) fetching three times it's capacity and with a travel time of two hours is definitely an out of the world experience, a few amenities which are rendered unasked are

• A "strong" fart every 2 minutes (Fart shelf life is atleast one and half minutes)
• Bus conductor Massage (A unique service where his ass cheek uses your shoulder as a lean on --ofcourse your shoulder gets a toilet paper kind of feeling)
• Arm-pit fragrance (But hey Axeland is just a spray away!)
• Peanuts to munch on (costs only 50 paisa with an additional bonus of upto and not limted to 5 farts)
• The pleasure of travelling on well maintained roads of karnataka. (I hear a faint "Are you kidding" from the legislative council)

Here's a clinton joke to munch on while i go and search for my deo

According to an online survey by "Men’s Fitness” magazine, if American women could sleep with one politician, it would be Bill Clinton. Thirty-four percent of American women say they would like to go to bed with Bill Clinton. The other 66% percent already have.

JuiceMeUp.