Its 10PM EST, I’m still at my office, finishing off the final stages of department’s Sarbanes audit readiness, lotsa questions running in my mind, foremost of all is

2 MBA OR NOT 2 MBA

Hmmm tough question, today I found that I suck at quadratic equations; this knowledge effectively helped me in putting off GMAT test by another two months i.e. December 2006 (Hopes of applying in Round 1 quashed)

Math is really causing nervous disorders and I am really pondering whether I should just chuck this whole MBA plan and live peacefully, this is another tough question to answer. Ultimately I have to make choices. Let me look at the advantages of being an MBA and not being an MBA and make an informed decision.

The advantages of JuiceMeUp – The MBA

1. Worldwide Acclaim through news broadcasts and Newspapers as the oldest MBA at age 79 from top school (reapplied since age 28) Note: This will be 2nd page news as the front page news would be dedicated to a lady giving birth at age 81.

2. Likely exposure to people who would figure in the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

3. Club Memberships and Alumni lists

4. Anna Nicole Smith

5. Whitehouse Black tie events

6. My Ancestors toasting an “Our boy finally made it, finally stricken off from family black sheep category” and getting juiced up in heaven or hell depending on who is where.

The disadvantages of JuiceMeUp – Not an MBA

1. Always need to bask in the glory of Bill Gates (e.g. Hey you know Bill Gates is a drop out, so an MBA really doesn’t matter”, for which I would get a rebuttal like this; “hey you know Bill Gates has $50 billion, what you have?”

2. Would still suffer from Math fear.

3. No Anna Nicole Smith and No Black tie events

4. Likely exposure to Forbes top 10 “duh’s” of the world

5. Beneficiary of ancestral curses for not taking charge of my life and moving it in the right decision.


Hmmm I have to weigh the pros and cons and reach an informed decision.

Credits:
My company for providing free internet bandwidth
William Shakespeare
Senator Oxley
Math
B Schools
Anna Nicole Smith
Mr. President
Bill Gates
Forbes.com
My Ancestors

I’m learning Math!!!! To crack GMAT!!!!

Last weekend I went and purchased this Math for Junior book and it is awesome, it’s teaching me Numbers, Integers (includes positive and negative – which I didn’t know earlier) and their calculations and a whole lot of other amazing stuff which I haven’t perused yet, it’s going to be a great learning experience for me. Here are some interesting excerpts from the book, (btw I am going through page 7 of 298, so it would not be a lengthy excerpt).

-100 is always greater than -1000
Digits are integers 0-9 and the places in a number are called digit places, for example lets take 357, 7 is in the ones digit place, five in the tens and 3 in the hundreds digit place.

The book quizzes you also to test your skills, here’s one quiz

If you have five (5) Frisbees and someone gave you three (3) more, how many Frisbees would you have?

My Answer: Ummm, Hmmmm, Ummmm, Ahhhh, can I borrow more time to crack this? Also can I have tools like a calculator, 1.4 gigabyte processing powered computer?

All kidding aside, I think it’s a great book at building basics, which I lack, basically I gotta give credit to an amazing math teacher back at school, who always used to ridicule me and make me sit outside the class for every math session.

Note to all my Math teachers from elementary to High school:
Wish you people knew that school is a place where kids (like me at one point of time) come to learn and need not necessarily be good or expected to be good in a particular subject, it’s your job to make him good and excel at it, not ridicule him just because he failed to solve one simple addition problem during class I and make him sit out the entire Math learning life. Wish you judged me not by my weakness to solve a problem but by my eagerness to learn how to solve.

Frustrating Friday, would wot my manager say if she was asked to describe the day at work today :)

Today was the deadline, well the day (or rather night for me) is almost over, for the process manuals updation and refurbishing work assigned to me. The moment i turned on my Jurassic age computer there was a meeting invite from my manager to discuss the project. The meeting went like this;

Manager: Have you finished your assignment? I am not looking for "No" as an answer.
Me: No

Manager (By now her i could see a tinge of red in her face): How far have you reached with this asignment?
Me: Page 19 of 1150, not very far.

Manager: Why the delay?
Me: These documents are protected for any changes, i need a password and no one has the password for these documents, more so i have existing responsibilities, i'm finding it hard to juggle between my current responsibilities and this assignment, one week timeframe is too less to complete this assignment.

Manager: I do not want to hear any explanations.
Me: You just heard one.

By now she almost lost her cool, stared at me for a few secs.

Manager: I really wonder how your previous manager gave you an "A(Outstanding)" Performance rating, I wonder what he considered in you to give that rating.
Me: The rating was based on my merits and performance

Manager: I want this to be done ASAP (lot of stress for ASAP)
Me: Yes, i will finish it as soon as possible (emphasised with intermittent breaks for as--soon--as--possible.)

Manager: Could you pls leave my office now!!
Me: Oh sure.

I came out of the office with a devilish smile ;), but i know that my performance rating for this year would be Z category if there is one.

Waiter, i'll have a large whiskey, and could you please keep getting that till i fall off from this chair.

will get juiced up.

Been sometime since i posted here, i could use a lot of fallible excuses for this atrocity, and i am not using any of those excuses mainly for say, one reason is that this particular area of the free of cost disk space area in the vast blogosphere should not suffer from severe spasms and not let me post in the near and distant future.

My Manager has finally found what i hate the most and this, she is using to her benefit to torture me like, hmmm let me think, let's say Dick Cheney torturing his hunting partner in the woods.

What i hate the most at my work is scribing and updating reams and reams of process and procedures manuals, i am supposed to update and refurbish (refurbish cause she thinks the design of bullets in the document does not meet her fancy) the whole department's process manuals which is close to 1150 standard A4 format pages.

wish me good luck to come up with a fallible excuse tomorrow, tomorrow being the deadline of the project and tomorrow hopefully i will finish updation of page 19 of 1150.

Today me and my friend decided to meet up over a cup of coffee, we planned to meet at forum coffee day, this friend is one of those rarest kinds of friends which is hard to comeby. I say rare for three reasons. He's suffered me for nearly more than eight years Saved me from a possible likelihood of getting punched by my ex-girlfriend (Heck i'm still scared that bump into her in this small world and get punched by her right in the kisser) Never sticks to time. (KK, frank thoughts :)) As usual we were supposed to meet at 6.00PM and i was there by 5.45PM, i get a call from him stating that he will be delayed by 10 mins, so i take a stroll to landmark to check out paperbacks. I didn't notice Opal Mehta book by Kaavya, mebbe they took it off shelf. what i noticed were these: THINGS THAT I AND MY GIRLFRIEND ARGUED ABOUT -- By god's name why should i know wot surmised between horny couple? The book starts with "Where's my car keys?" how the hell i benefit literally by knowing where's his car keys are? The book is 150+ pages. The publisher should have answered one question "should i publish this book and lose money or should i just search for his car keys?" He would have got his answer almost instantaneously. There wasn't a dustbin in the vicinity to chuck this book. Landmark employees are smart. Next one. "The Martha Stewart Rules". Here i'm confused, Rules as in Rules and Procedures to follow? or Is she goading that she still rules even after time spent at Alderson Correction facility? Here in the book she says she followed the productive american dream and asks us to follow her be a part of that productive american dream. Sorry Martha, I ain't your follower as i do not wish to spend time in jail and become a gigolo at the penitentiary to earn pocket money. Next were some interesting books by Wharton Publishing and one on investment tactics by Aswath Damaodaran, Aswath one of the top 12 management professors in USA -- teaches at Stern and Wharton is my top school to get admitted, so i'm baised here (Note to Aswath: Stern is my top 2 school). Couldn't buy these books as i was stricken for cash and my manager is already planning a retirement for me--i gotta save for rainy unemployed days. The Next book was called "100 brushes before bed" On the cover there was this sexy, cleavage showing girl brushing her hair. This is what i want, a raunchy sex book to while away my time. The writer's note goes something like this "Sex may be bad or good, but if you ask me if i do it again, heck i'll do it" This is like a personal diary being published and made public for mass reading. Yes something like Dairy of Anne Frank, only the reasons were different, this one was about producing illegit lives the Anne frank one was about being alive and struggling for life. This book is the story of a 14 yr old which i'll sum up in two words; Virgin Mary >> Bloody Mary. (These refer to cocktail names, no religious reference pls.) There is an author by surname Coontz, tell me isn't that what we refer to rowdy senior girls harassing innocent first year boys at a co-ed? Ah i got the long awaited call from KK, Off to free coffee at coffee day. So long. Literar(y)ily Dumb a.k.a JuiceMeUp.