Frustrating Friday, would wot my manager say if she was asked to describe the day at work today :)

Today was the deadline, well the day (or rather night for me) is almost over, for the process manuals updation and refurbishing work assigned to me. The moment i turned on my Jurassic age computer there was a meeting invite from my manager to discuss the project. The meeting went like this;

Manager: Have you finished your assignment? I am not looking for "No" as an answer.
Me: No

Manager (By now her i could see a tinge of red in her face): How far have you reached with this asignment?
Me: Page 19 of 1150, not very far.

Manager: Why the delay?
Me: These documents are protected for any changes, i need a password and no one has the password for these documents, more so i have existing responsibilities, i'm finding it hard to juggle between my current responsibilities and this assignment, one week timeframe is too less to complete this assignment.

Manager: I do not want to hear any explanations.
Me: You just heard one.

By now she almost lost her cool, stared at me for a few secs.

Manager: I really wonder how your previous manager gave you an "A(Outstanding)" Performance rating, I wonder what he considered in you to give that rating.
Me: The rating was based on my merits and performance

Manager: I want this to be done ASAP (lot of stress for ASAP)
Me: Yes, i will finish it as soon as possible (emphasised with intermittent breaks for as--soon--as--possible.)

Manager: Could you pls leave my office now!!
Me: Oh sure.

I came out of the office with a devilish smile ;), but i know that my performance rating for this year would be Z category if there is one.

Waiter, i'll have a large whiskey, and could you please keep getting that till i fall off from this chair.

will get juiced up.