I don't get this, recently while flicking through channels, i chanced upon this cartoon program called Oswald. I really, really don't get this, an octopus can talk, a sunflower can talk, a tree can talk, a penguin can talk, the bee can talk, the eggs can talk - but the dog only barks! I am no expert in evolution theory but i think the dogs are way up in the communication chain as compared to eggs.

Ah a fresh mail delivered right into my spam folder. The sender is Gruger Wibbler and subject is "Your length will amaze". I cannot access this mail as i'm restricted by our organization's security policy code 215 which states "Do not open mails in spam folder, and that goes specifically to you Juicemeup". My curiosity as to the contents of the mail reaches a new level and am left pondering over these questions.

1. What kinda first name is Gruger?
2. What kinda second name is Wibbler?
3. Who would name someone like that?
4. If i name my kid Gruger Wibbler would it border on child abuse?
5. Would my child hack me to death if i named Gruger Wibbler?
6. Should i have another beer?
7. Does my length amaze me?
8. What is my length?
9. Would my length amaze Jennifer Aniston?
10. Will these make it to Letterman's Top 10?

Recently i was introduced to one of my close friend's blog, i was drawn to his first post where he mentions a quote of John Steinbeck hitherto unheard by me which goes "ad astra per alia porci". Now this sounded like a strange language to me, except that i thought porci sounded porky. I did what any man in his mid-twenties would normally do when encountered with peculiar languages, i.e. throw back couple of bottles of beer and take up Latin classes. Now this was a big mistake, right after my first Latin session (where i learnt "my name is", "and you are?") my brain started to translate every other conversation (as it was playing out) in Latin and me not understanding one bit of it. Here are some excerpts:

My CEO's recession address: per aspera ad astra
My VP's goal setting addressal: non est ad astra mollis e terris via
My next cubicle dopist colleague: per herbam ad astra
My Manager: Stop dawdling on blogspot and start working, else i'll fire your ass.

Hmm I wonder why my manager is pissed at me, should i tell him that i didn't understand his Latin?